


C A R M E N: Prologue

by why_to_bee



Series: Les Fleurs de Carmen [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Catholic Character, Hyuck is an art school student, M/M, Mark Lee plays water-polo, References to God(s), a few Stray Kids members appear, he also works in a grocery shop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:14:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28205190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/why_to_bee/pseuds/why_to_bee
Summary: Mark writes a letter.About water-polo, swimming, life, death and his one and only, Lee Donghyuck.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Series: Les Fleurs de Carmen [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2066832
Kudos: 3





	C A R M E N: Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> It's the prologue of my Les Fleurs de Carmen Series. 
> 
> Short but meaningful.💫
> 
> I decided to post this apart from the story because I believe it has a meaning outside the series too.  
> It can be understood without the other parts of the series BUT, on the other hand, for the CARMEN story it provides more info!💫
> 
> Song recommendation for the vibe of it: twenty one pilots - Chlorine 💫

_Dear God,_

_I love swimming._

_Not like Hyunjin or Jeno, who sincerely hate just swimming; they need a ball, a group of people, a match to feel good in the water. Hyunjin if he could choose, would always play matches and not even simple, friendly matches but serious ones, and then he trains deadly serious and dedicated._

_But if it’s a friendly match or just a simple practice, he’s lazy and makes fun the whole time. Don’t get me wrong, I love him, he’s one of my 6 best friends. I totally understand his point of view and I honestly like how he just takes things lighty and funny. He is our light and happiness and when times require, he becomes our strength and lead-strategist next to Chris._

_And Jeno, he just simply hates swimming, he’s always bored during swimming sessions – he needs bigger resistance than just simple chlorinated water. He finds more fun in a training, where we get at least a ball and can play with it. But he lives for matches, really. I understand him too; he looks like he could never get tired, he is our infinite power and drive through the matches._

_I love matches too, heck, water-polo is my life from the age of 7._

_But I love swimming. And it is my life from the age of 4._

_I love the smell of that chlorinated water, how cold it is, how smooth it is around my body, how it seems so peaceful and silent – whilst I know how it can become such a battlefield within seconds – it’s clear and it sparkles. It seems so alive around me, like it’s not even just me moving in it, but it moves with me, helps me – actively flows around me, at least._

_And the best is – what I am constantly bragging about to the boys for years, but I just can’t get enough of saying it – that it makes you work hard without even realizing it. It’s so silent and perfect around you, that you don’t even realize how hard and heavily you are shovelling with your arms or propelling with your legs. You never get sweaty, so you don’t even feel it._

_And it makes me ready for the ballgames, for the matches. It trains my muscles, my stamina, my breathing skills, the lung capacity, everything what I need for matches. And even more._

_It puts my mind to rest, clears my senses and makes me focused – makes me calm and even. I love it._

_I love a lot of things, actually._

_I could say, I’m in love with life, but that just simply wouldn’t cover the plenty of things I love._

_I love life; I love life in nature, in plants, in animals, in people. I love how the whole Earth just breaths in and out, with beings on it, with the air on it, with the oceans on it._

_It lives. It moves, it changes, it adapts, it feels, it gets hurt, it is dying – slowly but it is._

_And here it comes what’s not in the mundane meaning of life… because I even love this – the monotonous cycle of dying – because it means the beginning of something else, something new. You know it best!_

_I love waiting for what’s coming after life ends – I love being ready for it, being alert and awake, to be in my best form and state so I could appreciate my presence in such new, unfamiliar place and time as a life, after life… let it be anything, freezing cold, insufferable hot, dizzying pleasure or painful steadiness, hurting realizations or just peaceful reconciliation._

_One thing is sure though… that it’ll be normal by then. I’ll get used to any feelings I’d experience, almost like I didn’t have anything else before._

_And that feeling will be my ultimate feeling, the main character of my presence, so it shouldn’t be anything disturbing. I’ll become one with that feeling and I’ll like that no matter what. After all that would be what I am waiting for here until I live._

_I’ll love it and welcome it with open and trusting arms because I know and I’ll know it then too, that I am in the careful and loving arms of You, my Creator._

_For Donghyuck, who doesn’t follow religions, who doesn’t really believe in God’s active presence in our life, I say this. That this is the only thing my religion is good for – it gives you peace in imagining life and afterlife, too._

_It gives us hope and the feeling of being matter to the world and to a bigger Force above us. Even if it’s not true – because in life, who cares if living after life is true or not, we want to live and that’s all – but this thinking simply puts the mind to ease._

_And in life… well my dear boy interprets my religion as some kind of philosophy – a way of thinking and viewing the world, like doing yoga for good health or going to the gym regularly to keep our body fit; or deciding that we’ll be kind and happy and trying to stay that way and keep it up in our whole life – during hardships too._

_It is enough for him, so it is enough for me too._

_I hope You understand it, too._

_I don’t want to change him but I don’t want him to change me either and he understands it and lets me explain why I do things the way I do and then he looks at me, squints at me, shakes his head or laughs and says,_

_“I don’t understand it, but you’re cute” and kisses me._

_But there are times, precious magic times, when he cries in my arms for hours, cheeks red, nose snotty and after he gathered himself, his sweaty hands cup my cheeks._

_“I’m in love with your type of God, Mark” he sniffles through his sentence._

_Donghyuck. Of course, I love him._

_He is my little Pandora’s box with at least a hundred different shelves and brackets inside of him. That, I am still trying to open, searching for keys and passwords that’ll open him up. I can say, I’m quite good at it, haha... He lets me find his hidden boxes, however, he doesn’t really help with the opening part…_

_And I know I can’t open everything, and even if I can, I won’t understand everything – only the things he lets me understand._

_If **he** lets me in._

_I will never know him fully – just know, maybe, the equitation of him. And try to solve this almost infinite, gorgeous, and devious equitation of him with different modifiers of life._

_And the constant? Me, I guess…? I don’t know actually, but it has to be me, since I just can’t look at him from others’ eyes, I only can look him from my perspective…_

_I remember how it started – how he was walking up to our grocery shop…_

_I knew his face by then. He walked the same way to the art school every weekday. I cursed my lazy ass that I only started to help to dad in the shop recently. If sooner, I could already have had a conversation with him by then, I thought. Until 3 weeks, I had to be content with simple short eye contacts or distressed gazes – I knew, he must have had some problems, he often looked very tired and sad._

_He stood in front of the shop, looking at the tomatoes for like 5 minutes straight and being so out of it… I laughed at first, but then I saw, that he was shivering from nerves. My heart ached looking at him – he was beautiful though, eye-catching, for me, at least. Great style, young and fresh but a little too dark colours for my liking. Just as dark as the clouds on his pretty face._

_I felt a sudden urge to just go and hug him and listen to him, find out what happened and hold him through his sadness._

_I know, everyone has dark times in their lives, so I wasn’t too shaken hearing his story. He was shaken though. Very much. I wished he understood himself better, and gave himself more time._

_He has a past with the people who were with him then._

_He has a future with people who, may be unknown, but also has a future with him._

_And he has a present **with me**. Now. _

_Steady and ready every day to live in it and deal with it. A present. A gift which had been given to me, hopefully, for the long run._

_I want to use this present well. It’s my only wish for myself, now. Thank You!_

_Please take care of my family, my friends and now, in match times, especially Chris! Take care of him and give him a peace of mind, for him to be able to lead us, direct us and to not get tired of us, hehe (we are tiring) He is the best captain!_

**_Love You_ ** _,_

_Mark Lee_

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know when I'll be posting the actual story because it's not fully done yet and I'm still editing a lot on it, so I don't want to post any parts of it until the whole is done.
> 
> Still, I wanted to post this little letter thing for You to get a taste from the vibe of the Alternative Universe I'm currently creating...
> 
> Thank You❤️❤️
> 
> if anyone's wondering, the water-polo team:  
> \- Chris – center (hole-set), captian  
> \- Johnny - goalkeeper  
> \- Lucas – flat  
> \- Jungwoo - point  
> \- Hyunjin – flat  
> \- Jeno – wing  
> \- Mark – wing


End file.
